“My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say,
and then to say it with the utmost levity”
George Bernard Shaw
(my Christmas present, Touche Bleue the Dammit Doll / Julie Cook / 2015)
I don’t know if it’s a teacher thing or not…
But my daughter-n-law, who is indeed a teacher…middle school… bless her heart, gave me, her mother-n-law and former long time high school educator, a most wonderful and oh so practical, useful and most needed Christmas gift.
No it wasn’t a gift card for some sort of luxurious day of self-indulgence at a spa.
It wasn’t a fancy little bottle of some highly potent libation intended for celebration.
Nor was it a shiny bauble, a box of chocolates, something to wear, to play, to read or to watch…
Rather it was something to use when one’s blood pressure has risen, when one is seeing red, when one is madder than a cold wet hen or for when there is no where to run in order to let out a good primal blood curdling scream…..
It’s for when only a good old fashioned whacking and smacking will do…
Just the ticket when needing to beat, to bang, to smash, to hit and to knock the bejezzers out of….a something rather than a someone!
For this is my very own “Dammit Doll”
(and yes I know how the true word is spelled but they, the makers, spell it with two m’s)
The Dammit Doll is intended as an instant stress reliever.
Had a bad day?
Whack it.
Had a really bad day?
Knock the crap out of it.
I’ve decided to keep mine in my car.
Not because of some insane need to vent a bad case of road rage during my travels to and fro from my dads, although that really isn’t all that bad of an idea…
No, this Dammit Doll lives in my car as my travel companion to and from dad’s.
Her name is Gloria, and I knock the crap out of her.
My aunt has been visiting from Florida for the past two weeks, helping me with things at dad’s…she’s now beating Gloria the doll before and after getting out of the car each and every trip to dads…
I think the stress relief need is contagious….
Hummmmm….
This is what happened to Gloria the doll today when I was at Dad’s…..
For today (or actually yesterday for those of you reading this) was that bad…
or crazy depending on your particular view
Crazy bad sums it up rather nicely for me.
Oddly, not only was Gloria the doll bammed, whammed and whacked—
today she ended up under the car…
Run over, backed over and smushed into the pavement—it was just that kind of day..
So I must say that I am grateful for my Christmas gift as it has been most apropos, necessary and strangely needed and even useful –offering a much needed outlet for stress as well as a wonderful dose of levity and humor in a time when life’s situation would be simply overwhelming and utterly frustrating.
And of course anything which helps with stress as well as the sorting out of all the up and down on-goings and dramatic sagas at Dad’s and Gloria’s……oh……. yeah, you’re right…that is odd isn’t it…Gloria the Dammit-Doll has the same name as my stepmother…whoa……. who knew???
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go give that doll another good whack…..
cookiecrumbstoliveby 
Reblogged this on Talmidimblogging.
Ha..I need one of those. Maybe two in case I actually kill the first one!
I know Wally, I may need a new one soon 🙂
This made me laugh Julie – especially when I got to the bit about the name of the doll!
Oh I’m so glad I could provide a laugh David as I was afraid this little cheeky post of mine might offend some–but I have greatly needed a laugh, a smile even, that I had to post it as it has been a good distraction from some very serious issues!!!
Here’s to a good laugh every now and then!!!
Sometimes we just need to beat the crap out of something. Better a doll than something else.
🙂
Julie, we all need a stress reliever and I caught the name right at the beginning of your post and had a great chuckle! Then I rethought the chuckle and feel so deeply your tremendous frustration at not being able to do what needs to be done for your father because another is standing in the way. Please know that you are in my prayers. Warm blessings from very cold Canada!
Oh Lynda–your kind observation brought tears to my eyes because you have so aptly summed it all up in a neat nutshell—my frustration in my inability to do for my dad as there is one who truly stands in the way…I even had to dismiss the best caregiver over the holidays as Gloria simply did not like her and made her life as well as mine more miserable. She did not like the kind extra care shown to dad, didn’t understand why she wasn’t pampered as much yet received kindness and care all the while—she is so miserable within herself that she cannot receive the love and kindness offered her–yesterday being a good example—as my aunt witnessed it all—
I am in-between a tremendous rock and a hard place—balancing her happiness, a feat we all know is impossible–with my poor dad also caught up in the middle—who only wants her happiness—and being married to him has never provided that—so I can cry in sheer frustration, or I can find those wonderful and delightful moments of humor —-hugs and love from a now cold Georgia 🙂 and many many thanks for your love and prayers—julie
My Dad had something like that. It was a football player with detachable, Velcro limbs. Whenever my Dad’s team was losing, he could take out his frustration by ripping the doll apart.
I might need to look for one of those as I do love my football 🙂
Oh my gosh I haven’t laughed this hard in ages!!!! I’m absolutely love Gloria and have wanted one of my own for years and years! Where did your daughter-in-law get the thing??? This was not the least irreverent as far as I’m concerned. It was downright hysterically funny! Love love love it and you and Gloria. And the fact that your aunt jumped in there and dealt her a few blows too makes the story even funnier. Hugs and love to both of you. 🙂 ❤