taking the good and the bad with chocolate covered doughnuts

“New mysteries.
New day.
Fresh doughnuts.”

David Lynch

This was not to be today’s post.
Today’s post was to be something deep and meaningful.
Something thought provoking and profound.

But after spending the day yesterday in Atlanta with Dad,
I thought profound could wait.

Last week I had shared a post entitled Status quo
a post about how, at this point with Dad, we were just happy to have the status quo.
A hanging in and on…

Well that status quo changed in the blink of an eye.

I knew he wasn’t doing well and that it’s all just a matter of time…
but the hospice nurse told me Thursday that his kidneys are failing…rapidly.
And that it truly is just a matter of time…she certainly did think he’d last the weekend,
but his kidneys couldn’t hold out much longer…
As I suppose the cancer will push the kidneys to their breaking point.
cause Cancer is just that way.

And happily, blessedly, he did last the weekend…

For the one thing about Dad that you should know is that the genes he inherited,
at least from his mother’s side, have tremendous staying power.
He is a Timex watch and an Energizer Bunny all rolled into one.
As he goes on and on while taking a licking….but he keeps on ticking!

Not so much because he is strong, full of fortitude or stamina…
far from it….
He is not, nor has he ever been athletic, health conscious or a vigorous sort of soul.
He will actually finally confess to the very truthful fact that he is,
and always has been, lazy…
As he was a man who also loved his scotch….

But what Dad does have is chocolate.
A deep and abiding love of chocolate… as it courses through his veins.

I’ve written about Dad and chocolate before.
I’ve never seen anything quite like it.
He can eat chocolate 24/7

Now mind you, I love a good piece of chocolate or some decadent type of chocolate dessert…
As there is nothing quite like a cold creamy slice of chocolate pie topped with a generous mound of whipped cream, a rich yet elegant pots de creme,
or a handful of M&M’s grabbed while on the run…
but I can’t just sit around all day long eating chocolate….I’d get sick as a dog!

But that is exactly what Dad’s beside table looks like—a plethora of all things chocolate.
As he doesn’t miss a beat nor does he get sick.
It’s like Popeye and his spinach.

So when I picked up their groceries,
I naturally picked up several items out of the chocolate food group.
And when I returned home, Dad demanded that I bring him one of the chocolate covered doughnuts…
as in, immediately.
Never mind I told him he’d need to eat at least a bite of lunch first…
for Dad’s appetite for real food is now almost non existent,
yet as for all things chocolatey, he’s still going strong.

So imagine my startled surprise when I walked back into his bedroom to check on him,
chatting away while putting things away…
when I suddenly look up, only to find him like a little kid,
with his mouth covered in chocolate…



So I suppose a picture is indeed worth a thousand words…
reminding us that in those times of sadness and sorrow, pain and frustration…
we can still find a glimmer of hope, a smile, a laugh and actually something good…
of which helps us forget, albeit briefly, the bad…

So for today…we’ll take both the good and the bad as long as there is chocolate and doughnuts….

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings,
knowing that suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,
and hope does not put us to shame,
because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit
who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

35 comments on “taking the good and the bad with chocolate covered doughnuts

  1. hrh7 says:

    I love this. And I hope and pray that your father makes it through the year, eating chocolate and having fun.


  2. Melissa Presser (still Esquire) says:

    Just amazing Julie, you truly made my day. God bless you both. Love to you

  3. Karen says:

    God bless your father, he is definitely doing things his way. I’m happy that he had such an enjoyable moment or two. God bless you too for making those little moments of joy possible.

  4. atimetoshare.me says:

    You know what? I think your dad is great. He’s living every moment. I know this is how I’d like things to end for me. Chocolate running out of the sides of my mouth and joy in my heart. These pictures are delightful. Prayers and love to you.

    • Thanks Kathy—you know, I debated sharing the pics as I know some would find them more sad than anything else, not preferring not to see some feeble little blogger’s aging and dying father—plus Dad’s refusal to shave or let us trim his hair is not the most inviting…but there again, as you say, plays in to the finality of his still trying to do things his way…which demonstrates a fighting spirit…
      so yes, chocolate smeared around our mouths and covering our fingers is really pretty grand….

      • atimetoshare.me says:

        I loved the pictures. I literally laughed out loud. When my mom was in hospice, my sister and I thought she had died at least four times, but like the energizer bunny, she wasn’t dead yet. It was like a replay of Monty Python. She too, was stubborn and loved life, but when she passed, she had the most beautiful look of awe upon her face. I knew she was seeing heaven.

      • A wonderful image– and wonderful humor for death shall not deplete our joy

  5. Lynda says:

    I also find the photos absolutely delightful! So wonderful that your dad can take enjoyment from eating a chocolate donut – or anything chocolate for that matter. You are such a blessing to him and to so many others who will learn from you that, at times, we need to step back and reassess what is important. Blessings and prayers.

  6. I’ll do it my way…

  7. Your sweet dad! How precious…well, we do know there are health benefits to eating chocolate! Bless your dear dad….mine just turned 92 and still ticking away. God is good!!

  8. Wally Fry says:

    That is just about the most encouraging picture I have seen lately. I think I like your Dad and don’t even know him. Lone Ranger with a doughnut.


  9. ladybug165 says:

    I hope your dad feels better soon ! May the Lord bless him !

  10. I think it’s great. He knows the end is near and yet he’s hanging on and in and enjoying something in the life right up until the end. And I can’t think of anything much better than chocolate than maybe cheesecake. I love your ability to keep your sene of humor in the midst of all the madness. Love and hugs, N 🙂 ❤

  11. SLIMJIM says:

    Man now I want donuts…

  12. Sarah says:

    😀 I’m glad you decided to share the story and the photos. Very charming.
    God bless you and your father.

  13. Citizen Tom says:

    Cannot eat too much chocolate, but I do enjoy it. So I can understand why you dad wants his donuts. Good for him.

    We glorify our Father by finding joy and contentment even in our troubles. Thank you for the example

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