a piece of my heart….

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for
that which has been your delight.”

Kahlil Gibran

“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord,
and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.”

Augustine of Hippo

DSCN0611
(my wedding day, 1983)

My priest
My confessor
My Godfather
My “god poppa”
My surrogate father
My confidant
My best friend

The Very Reverend David Browning Collins,
December 18,1922—-December 29, 2016

dscn4761
(My god poppa and Pope John Paul II /
Dean Collins was the American Anglican representative
to the Catholic–Anglican conference held at the Vatican 1980 )

DSCN0609
(my godfather, a WWII Naval Officer, loved the sea and moved
to the Georgia coast once he retired from the priesthood / Julie Cook / 1988)

Just as the storm surge batters the tender sands of the shore….
The season of the long good-bye is currently battering my heart…
As such is the season of this time in my life…

DSCN5321
(my son’s rehearsal dinner, Savannah, Ga / Julie Cook / 2014)

dscn4755

13 comments on “a piece of my heart….

  1. Lynda says:

    Julie, I am so very sorry to hear that you are missing someone who has been such an important part of your life. And at the same time that you are experiencing the illness of your dad. May God give you strength and comfort. Prayers as always.
    PS – That is a beautiful photo of you and your godfather on your wedding day!

    • thank you Lynda—there was a time that my “losing” him in this life would have torn me out of the frame.
      He and I formed a formidable bond when I was 15 with me becoming their “5th” child.
      He and I were both adopted with that being the binding link.
      I could not have handled losing him right now, what with all of this with dad, had it not been for the lessons he taught me about Salvation, Grace and healing…
      I needed a “dad” during those tumultuous years of adolescents coupled by the violent dysfunction existing in my home with my brother and my parents inability to act—Dean Collins filled that role—filling it for the remainder of my life thus far.
      I poured my heart and soul out to him throughout my growing up as he weathered my many falls from Grace…always there to help pick me back up while always pointing the way to “home”
      He has been sick for a long time–suffering from dementia and failing health…yet I know he faced his homeward journey with grand expectation and anticipation whereas my dad is currently scared to death.
      I think The Dean would hopefully be proud as he now knows and sees how I’m trying to weather this latest storm in life…
      🙂

  2. I had a similar relationship with the Parish Priest who married us in 1965, With my birth father abandoning my mom and I when I was only 18 months old, he was the only adult male in my life during my high school years,other than coaches and teachers.. He was the closest man of God I knew at the time or since. A shining light with a radiant smile. It was an honor to serve him as an altar boy.

    Unfortunately, he was killed just a couple of years later in a tragic automobile accident on his way to a diocesan meeting in the middle of a Michigan winter. Hi wife was driving and never could get over the guilt. She eventually committed suicide.

  3. phyllissnipes says:

    Julie, I’m so so so sorry about The Dean. I am thankful for the huge impact he had on your life and how he helped nurture something in you that is a blessing to everyone you know!! We love you so much!!

  4. My eyes well up with tears almost as soon as I started reading this one because I know how a passage such as what you are going through stirs up all kinds of memories, good and bad, happy and sad, and so on. I wish I were there to hold your hand and give you hugs!! Just know that I am praying and thinking of your and your sweet family. Love and hugs, Natalie 🙂 ❤

  5. Sarah says:

    Words fail me, Julie. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You have my prayers, and I will offer prayers for the repose of the soul of your dear friend.
    I wish your dad could know that God loves him and is waiting for him to come home.
    God bless you both.

  6. SLIMJIM says:

    I”m sorry to hear of your loss Julie.

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