Whenever you’re faced with an explanation of what’s going on in Washington,
the choice between incompetence and conspiracy,
always choose incompetence.

Charles Krauthammer

(the severed peach leaves / Julie Cook / 2017)

(a once spritely spry apple tree / Julie Cook / 2017)

Well there has certainly been a bunch of mumbo jumbo out there lately over conspiracy theories
and those responsible instigators…those troublesome clandestine conspiracy theorists.
Because isn’t it is because of “them”, whoever the thems are,
that all of this shadowy pandemonium get’s its base to begin with??

But I’m digressing here as I need to address my own conspiracy theory…

You may remember a couple of weeks back when I posted a picture of a ripening apple we
had growing on one of the four apple trees?
For whatever reason….I’ve never had much luck growing apples nor
my peaches for that matter.
But this year I was really hopeful.

We had two apples on one of the four apple trees and one of the four peach trees was
loaded with about 11 little growing golf ball size peaches.
Maybe this was going to be my year…

So the other evening after my gentleman farmer of a husband had conducted his evening overseeing
of the 50 green Q-tips, aka, pecan trees,
he naturally rounded out the inspection with the fruit trees.

Once inside he summoned me to come see the trees.

“Why?” I hesitantly asked.
“Something has happened” he replied a bit alarmed.
“What do you mean something happened?” I countered.
“Because something happened, OK! Something has shredded the trees!”
“SOMETHING has practically destroyed the trees!!!

and so naturally I dutifully follow my alarmed husband out the door…
now equally as alarmed.

“See this” he most defiantly lifts one of many sheared off tiny limbs
to one of the apple trees.
“And look at your peach trees….!!”

Sure enough….devastation.
But not devastation as in the deer ate off the leaves again.
This looked like someone had more or less taken a weed whacker to the poor trees.

Now we have had problems in the past with male deer who, when coming out of the velvet,
meaning when it’s the season that they start rubbing on anything and everything just
to get the fuzzy summer growth or “velvet” off of their forming antlers…..
but this isn’t the time yet for such as the horns are just now starting to grow.

(detail of a deer’s antler shedding the velvet, courtesy Dannerholz Whitetails)

So something else is to blame for this devastation….but what??

Now we have been told by reliable sources from those deer hunters who have been deep in the woods
behind our property that they have actually seen two black bears.

And it certainly is not uncommon for the Atlanta news to report on bears in suburban Atlanta
neighborhoods having migrated down from their normal habitat in the north Georgia mountains.
Plus it is not uncommon for the bears of middle and south Georgia to migrate northward—
all due in part to the bears natural habitats shrinking coupled by last year’s drought
which has sent hungry bears in search of food.

(youtube image of a mom black bear and her cubs wandering an Atlanta neighborhood)

Ok so I could see a bear deciding to decimate my fruit trees but there is another more
bizarre theory being tossed around out there that’s been floating around
ever since we bought the property and built our house.

Something strange and a little frightening.
Something of legend and lore….

Shortly after we were settled into our house, almost 20 years ago now,
I held a yard sale as we needed to lighten the load of having moved a lifetime
from one house to another.
And by the way, that was our first and last yard sale because my husband was none to keen having
folks park all over his new grass…but I digress….

So as the day was waning and the influx of shoppers was also waning,
a rather odd older woman wandered into our midsts.
I didn’t see her pull up in a car, so I wasn’t real certain where she’d come from.

She walked up to me and asked if I was the one who lived in the house as I politely
replied that yes I did.
She informed me that she lived down the road a ways, down near the creek.
The road past our house turns from neighborhoods and houses to pastures, woods,
cows, chickens, creeks, deers and more desolate than habitable.

This odd little visitor proceeded to tell me a rather interesting tale.

She told me not to be surprised if I should hear, see or even smell something strange
near our house…do not be surprised should I see something large wandering through the
fields or skirting near the edge of the woods.

Well I don’t know if you’ve ever had a yard sale, but you can certainly see, hear and even
smell that which is strange in the way of “shoppers”….just saying.

She told me that on several occasions her dogs would be barking wildly at night-
howling while desperately wanting in the house.
She’d go out to inspect the commotion only to be hit by an overwhelming, powerful
and horrendous odor.
And no, we’re not talking skunk or a dead possum or armadillo—
just an overwhelming stench.

Then one night, once again alerted by the dogs, she raced out of the house…
and this time she actually saw it….or actually a glimpse of it…
Just running back into the woods…a dark giant and very smelly ape like thing…

She then added that her dogs have remained scared to death ever since never wanting
to be out in the yard alone….

Bigfoot….is that one word or two?

(youtube clip of a sighting in Georgia…..)

And so now on any late evening, or in the light of day for that matter,
when I’m out in the yard doing those things that I do in the yard…
and I catch a whiff of something odd…or hear something rustling in the overgrown field,
or catch an odd shadow along the edge of the woods,
I wonder…..

So there you have it—
something destroyed my fruit trees….while the question remains..

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth.
He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears,
and he will tell you what is yet to come.

1 John 16:13

19 comments on “conspiracies

  1. says:

    Haha, Yoda. Great story! I’m going with Sasquatch on this one. Didn’t know they were partial to peaches and apples though.

  2. There is a conspiracy in my garden and it has been going on for years!

    I can’t get corn to grow over 4 feet tall!

    And another thing…

    Why do the squirrels always take a detour into my garden just to chop down my poor little corn sprouts?!

  3. Ha! Great story! Sorry about the trees. That’s aggravating! I live in the midst of Bigfoot territory, so he’s everywhere. We have a cop here who retired and he now spends all his time hunting Bigfoot. The guy’s pretty rational and I suppose as far as adventures go, it’s not a bad pursuit.

    As to politics, I wrestle with that issue all the time. Is this ignorance I’m bearing witness to or evil? Are they just stupid or deliberately plotting against us? It’s a bit funny because I’m not sure which one is worse. Stupid can be downright dangerous. I’d almost prefer a grand conspiracy. At least I could take comfort in the fact that they know what they’re doing. πŸ™‚

    • thanks IB…and yes on the serious side of this, the actual thought of conspiracy—I fall in the thought that it is a combination of stupidity with nefarious and or evil intent on the part of the self serving and self centered..those misguided and foolish among us who want to bend everything in the universe in their direction by hook or crook—some are more devious about it all while others are more foolish and silly….either way deception and misleading and misrepresentation are indeed egregious sins.

  4. I’m going with a bear πŸ™

  5. Wyldkat says:

    Have you looked into the Skunk Ape? Reportedly there is a clinging, foul, odor associated with the creature. Most common in Florida, but has been seen in Arkansas so it is possible that one (or a family) could have moved into your region.

    Or, more likely, local black bears. Those suckers are bout as bad as goats, they’ll eat anything.

  6. How odd!!! I’m so sorry this has happened to your trees and your little fruit crop. I might have to get one of those outdoor cameras and see if I couldn’t catch the beastie at work. πŸ™‚ ❀

  7. Darn it, I went down to hit comment and hit the following button which unfollowed you for a split second and then I immediately hit follow again. Just so you know when you get notified of than in the AM. I was too busy looking at your decimated tree and what can I say. I’m old and feeble. πŸ™‚

  8. David says:

    Hopefully no such monster will appear in our small garden Julie. I have enclosed the red currants with netting. Next thing to protect is the tayberries. At present the blackbirds are decimating the neighbour’s cherry tree (which overhangs our garden) so there will be no cherries this year, but it is keeping them away from my soft fruit. It is always a battle. Just like life!

    • I can’t recall hearing that you all have a bigfoot or this skunk ape I hear tell of… you might be safe—except for the pesky birds—who by the way have taken to the blueberry bushes—I find perfectly fine blueberries littering the ground, each one with a tiny V pecked into the skin—if they want the berries, they should take and eat them and not simply waste them by pecking a hole in the fruit then leaving it to rot….
      indeed an endless battle!!!

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