I wish….

“Without free will we cannot have moral responsibility.
And without moral responsibility we cannot have justice, law and indeed society.
Human beings cease to be human and instead become just a collection of chemicals
living out the pre-determined paths of our meaningless existence.”

David Robertson


(a small remaining cluster of American Beautyberries—probably what my mockingbird got
drunk off of / Julie Cook / 2017)

During the course of one’s life, it is hoped that at some point, one will actually understand—as in comprehend with inward knowing….
where exactly one has been,
where one currently is,
and where one still needs to go….

I can say that with a great deal of certainty that I have, in the course of figuring
out where it is I have been, along with where I currently am, as well as where
I need to be…. that I have in turn done things, said things, thought things…
all of which would have been best never to have done,
never to have said, and never to have been thought.

Some of these things were said, done and thought most willingly—
While others were said, done and thought more reactionary or as fleeting bits of thoughtlessness or even innate quirks of randomness…
None the less, having caused pain, sorrow and suffering to others while often being
totally unbeknownst to myself, as they were done with mere flippant thoughtlessness.

Some of which, over the years, have been most grievous—
and in hindsight, grievous to both others as well as to myself…

I have done, said and thought things with mean intent, ill intent, selfish intent,
hurtful intent, harmful intent, malicious intent, prideful intent, sinful intent…
as the intents are ad infinitum.

And I wish, in this place of life’s hindsight, that I could go back in time
undoing each action, word and thought that was wrong, hurtful, mean, boastful,
selfish and or egregiously sinful.

But I cannot.

I can perhaps apologize, if such an apology would be appropriate, yet there have
actually been instances that I was simply unaware of…
instances that I was clueless to and unaware that I even needed to make some sort
of amends.

Plus time has a way of removing us so far away physically from those first moments
of error that the opportunity to “make things right” or even simply to offer a
sincere word of remorse have closed for the duration of life on this earth.

People come and go…and lives each come to an end.
Actually making it is impossible to extend a conscious heartfelt ownership
of wrongfulness in some instances…

There is however, one thing certain…
we have a responsibility to ourselves as well as to others.

That is a fact of being a human being.

It’s something that is part and parcel with being a part of the human race.
And yet we most often forget that simple fact…and it is in that forgetfulness
where most of our errors come to surface.

Just as it is part and parcel of being human that we will make poor choices in
our actions, words and thoughts against both ourselves as well as others.
But what never changes is that each poor choice of action, word or thought has a consequence.

It’s just that some are more noticeable then others.

And when we have nothing but hindsight to remind us, it is then and there, in the
solitude of our remembrances, that we must seek the Grace that God so freely offers.

The act of contrition and true repentance.

As our remorse and sorrow over these mis-actions, words and thoughts weigh heavy on the burden of a soul.
And if they do not, then the checking of a pulse just might be in order.

Grace will not erase our actions, words or thoughts, once so arrogantly, vainly or ignorantly displayed, but it will always change our perception of such actions, words and thoughts just as it will change us…
ever so slightly back to that image our Creator had of us all along…

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.
It teaches us to say β€œNo” to ungodliness and worldly passions,
and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,

Titus 2:11-12

29 comments on “I wish….

  1. @vapor_sage says:

    Good morning Julie!
    In my experience, I have been “allowed” to trek the broad path in order to be reminded that I am flawed and in need of guidance and example to be better

    • I love that notion—“to trek”—you’re right, we’re trekking alright—and we are gently or sometimes not so gently “reminded” or our flawed ways which need mending—and how fortunate that we have one who afforded us to mend!!!

  2. Oh, Julie… this is such a beautiful post… I so relate to your words here, and I’m so incredibly grateful for God’s grace as you so wonderfully expressed in this post. Thank you with all my heart for reminding me of the hope that knowing God brings. ❀

  3. Wally Fry says:

    Thanks, Julie. As you know, I have a laundry list of wrongs I have done, and bad legacies I have left behind. Some we can fix; some we cannot. Some we can start, then people are snatched away before the work is done. But, with our Lord Jesus, there is always hope….until the last breath is drawn, and far after that if we are His. Thanks for this post my friend.

  4. oneta hayes says:

    Oh, to God be all thanks, to the God who pardons. The God who heals the hurts we cause, and heal the hurts to us which are caused just and carelessly and unknowingly as we have done to others. He is good. Great post Julie. And your readers who comment also bless me. Good night, dear brothers and sisters in God’s family.

  5. I don’t know where any of us would be without God’s grace! Lost, alone, afraid would be my guess. Great post and love American beautyberries. Nice photo! Love, N πŸ™‚ ❀ xoxoxoxo

    • you know here, they’re wild in the woods—but I know down in Fl where my aunt lived, they were used in landscapes around houses….

      • Interesting. I had one in my yardage once

      • But it got to big where it was and so I dug it up snd moved it to another spot. But it didn’t survive the transplant.😊❀️

      • I’d never seen them before until I was down on Gregory’s “deer” land as they were growing wild all in and around the woods—then when Martha saw the post I did a couple of years back featuring the pictures I’d taken she said those things were prolific down in West Palm Beach as they were people’s shrubs—then I started noticing them when we were down at the beach….
        and a lot of the plants I put out in pots in the summer Martha would comment that they grow all over the place down where she lived—so it is something—things I find odd or unique are just common elsewhere πŸ™‚

      • I’ve never seen them in the wild here. I feel first saw them down at our botanic gardens and just had to have one! Sadly as I said before it perished as have most of the ones at the botanic gardens. Enjoy your wild ones❣️😘

      • Well don’t get out in the wilds thereβ€” you’ll get snake bit!!!! 🐍🐍

  6. Lynda says:

    Inspiring! I’m working on a study guide about living our lives in such a way that when we die we leave a gift of love to others – that there will be no regrets. God alone can give us the grace to do so.

  7. Oh I never step off into any high grass or wilds in this part of the country!!! Way to scary and risky!!! πŸ™‚ ❀

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