when do we know love becomes stronger than hurt?

“Dad’s genuine contrition took the fun out of holding offenses against him.
In choosing weakness, his love became stronger than my hurt.”

Joshua Rogers

(daddy’s idea of fun / Julie Cook / 2018)

When does one first know that they are a daddy’s girl?
Is it in the womb?
Is it in the delivery room?
Is it upon the very first face to face meeting?

Is it when he looks down and sees not only himself or his wife, but his own dad
in that tiny new face staring back up at him?

Is it during that first visit to the doctors when tears are first really shed?
That he reaches to hold you, comfort you, to protect you?

Is it during those early on sleepless nights?

Is it when daddy is left to babysit and dresses you in your first crazy outfit
unbeknownst to mom…are those Mardis Gras beads?

Or is it when daddy watches his own father who once cared for him when he was your age,
who is now taking on a new role in both of your lives?

Or is it when daddy shares the Mickey Mouse show with you,
just as his grandfather had done with him at that very same age?

No matter when it is…when that first moment registers that this is the man who is charged
with your care and protection…
the man who has been given the most important role of watching after you,
caring for you, providing for you, training you, teaching you, instructing you,
having fun with you, having to correct you…
exemplifying all this it means to be a father…
just as God is Father to us, in turn, entrusting our earthly fathers to be that
same living embodiment of God Himself…

We all know that living up to such a trememdous role and responsibility is a monumental task.
It is not for the faint at heart.
For there will be joy, but there will also be gut-wrenching heartache.
Because to love is just that…
an uncontainable joy matched with unrelenting pain…

There will be those who will fall and those who will, at times, fail.

It is with all of this in mind, my son’s first Father’s day, my husband’s first Father’s day
as a grandfather, that I came across a most sobering reminder of the power of both love
and forgiveness within the complicated role of parent and child.

How both love and forgiveness far outweigh anger and resentment.

Click on the following link to read one man’s story of his own relationship with a man
who had spent a lifetime letting him down, but in the end, taught him about the
most important lesson a father can offer…
that in forgiveness, there is power.


Happy Father’s day to the two most important men in my life….
from the one little girl whose hearts of yours, she has captured now forever.

30 comments on “when do we know love becomes stronger than hurt?

  1. atimetoshare.me says:

    Again you hit a nerve. My ocular hydration is taking over. What a lovely child and so fortunate to have these two men in her life. God bless you and all of them as well on this special “first” Father’s Day/

  2. Tricia says:

    Beautiful post Julie, such a nice tribute to the new dad and grandpa. I hope they both are getting some well deserved rest today! That story you linked too was great too, thanks for sharing that. The comments that follow it though are so disheartening. People have become so cynical they’ve lost the ability to emphasize.

    • Thanks Tricia—I thought the story really pretty powerful as I certainly understood the anger and resentment….a building up of lifelong hurt and disappointment.
      So many folks would have long forsaken the relationship…having given up, washing their hands and walking away. Walking away bitter and even damaged and somewhat broken inside.
      It would be that piece of the cycle…that brokeness that would continue into the furture generations relationships.
      But this guy got past that part by firstly maintaining contact with his dad…he blew up, probably a bit later than most folks would have…but it was the truning factor for them both.
      That one line of his that the weakness, the contrition, the love became stronger than his hurt….there is such power in that.
      And I don’t think, as we read in the comments, that not everyone “gets that”…
      there has to be a spiritual component for one to be able to move within all of that.

      Those of the wolrd hang on and hold on to the hurt, the hate, the pain, the resentment…allowing it to fester and poision every other relationship in their lives…this guy “got” that the wind left his sails as soon as he saw the transformation in his dad.

      It doesn’t give you back all those lost years…but what it does give you is a newness, a new beginning…and a continuation of hope…those bitter, mean spirited ones who don’t “get it” are left to their own festering wounds…no healing, no renewal and in the long run..they lose their hope.

      I for one found the father son tale pretty powerful!

      Hope it was a good Sundady in Cali Tricia…

      • Tricia says:

        Indeed it was a very power tale, I’m glad you linked to it. I guess you’re right, the peolple that didn’t take kindly to it (I mean they were really downright mean comments) had no spirit working in them. They could not see the poignancy of the authors tale. When love becomes the stronger emotion, things definitely play out well. 🙂

      • yep—and reading those comments I noticed that the predominate theme was “bad bad conservatives”…as in how was that even an issue…oh, this stroy played out on FOX, that right there says that the story didn’t matter but rather that it was on FOX and we know how our current society hates conservatives and equate FOX with all things Trump.
        All of which has nothing to do with the guys story.
        There is an underlying Spiritual theme and that is something our current society abhors.
        It could have been a story about folks getting a million bucks for just waking up and they’d still grouse because it’s running on FOX written by someone they’re assuming is, God forbid, a conservative.
        As IB so eloquently says ai yi yi!!!!!! 😉

      • Tricia says:

        So true! Grrrrr….

      • Yep—the new scarlett letter “C”

  3. Such such sweet and adorable pictures! I so wish Nikki’s baby had lived. Enjoy the blssings of the beautiful child. Love, N

  4. SLIMJIM says:

    So precious thank you for sharing this with us; I guess I have something in common with your son besides comics: young ones!

  5. Wally Fry says:

    That was really sweet. Of course, I like the grandpa pictures. Must be a thing, babies and grandpas sleeping LOL.

  6. Lynda Clayton says:

    I got sidetracked yesterday and failed to leave a comment about your lovely family. Autumn will certainly have lots of family running to her beck and call as she is deeply loved. And what a beautiful little child of God. The family resemblance is certainly quite obvious as well! Hope you had a very enjoyable day with the fathers yesterday.

    • and it was a great day…Brenton had to work but Gregory and I were going over to take Abby and Autumn out for lunch. Naturally we were all bummed that Brenton was not there…it was the black cloud over the day with this being his first father’s day but work is work and we are thankful for that…so when we were about 10 minutes away from the restaurant, Brenton called and said that by a sort of luck of the draw, he was allowed to leave early and actually met us for lunch…that was such a great gift for all of us!!!

  7. Karen says:

    Your post and photographs gave me such a big smile. Nicely done…I’m sure Father’s Day was special this year.

  8. What an absolutely beautiful piece of writing, dearest Julie! You tug at my heart strings with your thoughtful, warm and detailed description of a father’s love in action! And your photos are the icing on the cake! I’m sure your son and husband loved this amazing post! Hope your day was absolutely spectacular! Love and hugs!

    • thanks Lynn for the kind words…I’m here in Atlanta as Autumn’s dedication is tomorrow and they’re having a reception at the house so I’m here helping get ready…I may have already told you that previously…but that just proves my brain is shot 🙂

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