the sound of silence…can break the heart

“In the silence of the heart God speaks.
If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you.
Then you will know that you are nothing. It is only when you realize your nothingness,
your emptiness, that God can fill you with Himself. Souls of prayer are souls of great silence.”

Mother Teresa, In the Heart of the World: Thoughts, Stories and Prayers


(courtesy the web)

The school year has finally ended and thus our little extended family clan headed home
yesterday for good.

And I cried like nobody’s business.

There is now such a deafening silence that neither my husband nor I find comfortable.

No shrieks, no cries, no shouts, no laughter, no bumps nor bangs…

March 15th until May 22nd.
Holidays, birthdays, milestones, and seasons have all came and gone.

And now they are gone…

And there is still a Pandemic, a lockdown, a ‘new’ normal…
The silence isn’t helping…


(the attack of Da / Julie Cook / 2020)


(a warm spring day /Julie Cook/ 2020)


(snuggle bug siblings / Abby Cook/ 2020)


(a first hair cut / Julie Cook / 2020)


(the last morning with “mom” / Julie Cook / 2020)

ALMIGHTY God, heavenly Father, who hast blessed us with the joy and care of children;
Give us light and strength so to train them,
that they may love whatsoever things are true and pure and lovely and of good report,
following the example of their Saviour Jesus Christ.
Amen.

1928 Book of Common Prayer

35 comments on “the sound of silence…can break the heart

  1. Marilyn Reed says:

    I don’t have to tell you how blessed you are to have those little ones with you during this time. What a wonderful (& I’m sure exhausting) special time for all of you. So many are separated from their grandchildren during this. I have 9 and have only been able to see 3 of mine, but that is more than many have had. I feel so bad for some of my friends. We have one new one born March 3rd who I got to see for a few days before the shut down, but no one else in the family has gotten to meet in person.

    I do not do well with silence. I wish I was better at it.

    >

    • I know we were so very fortunate to have them with us- it was hardest on our son( their dad)— during the initial lockdown he was really limited leaving their home in Atlanta and coming to us— I think he was here on and off for two weeks while they were here almost 2.5 months— yes exhausting but I wouldn’t have had it any other way!
      I pray this ends soon!!!

  2. atimetoshare.me says:

    Oh, sweet deafening silence – the sting is more than we can bear at times, but think of it as a wonderful bonding time and let the memories linger. I had a lovely couple hours with my granddaughter yesterday. She called me and asked if I wanted to have lunch with her. She’s a working girl now and wanted to treat me to curbside service. It was the sweetest time we’ve had together in a long time. Though short, it was a reminder of how much I love that girl and treasure each moment with her. I did hug her when I left too. I don’t really care anymore if I’m exposed to this pandemic. I need to be with my family.

  3. oneta hayes says:

    I get so tired when the kiddies are around and so lonesome when they are not! 😀

  4. lynnabbott says:

    Oh, Jules… I’m so sad for you! So hard to be separated from those we love most! ❤ ❤

  5. I’m sorry, Julie! Also, so grateful you got to have that time together! What a blessing. My oldest is a nurse, so she won’t come anywhere near us. It’s been months. My grand daughter is a senior and the town’s reigning princess. We can’t do graduation or parade season or all the things we had planned. I really miss them all. Two of our kids still live with us and my mother, too, so we’re not totally alone, in fact it’s pretty cramped here. But yes, that silence can be heart breaking. Good place for the Lord to rush in, but still.

    • Thanks IB—and I’m sorry you’re missing your family—and I hate it for all graduating seniors –not only have their graduations been taken away…what now will their fall plans look like—college? New jobs?
      Who’s to say?!
      And from what I’ve read you write about your mom living with you, I somehow think that challenge is enough to keep you mind off of what is missing while dealing with crazy 😉

  6. Tricia says:

    So sorry for the sadness your going thru Julie. While I know all the “togetherness” was tough at times for you, it was indeed such a treasured gift as you state.

  7. Salvageable says:

    Those are great pictures! I especially like the haircut picture.
    I don’t know how soon we’ll be grandparenting, but I gather it will happen sooner or later. That’s something to look forward to. J.

  8. David says:

    Sorry about the silence Julie. We haven’t seen any of our grandchildren since February. Lockdown continues over here, although we can travel now but not stay over! So it is just us, John when he is not at work and a crazy Yorkshire Terrier who like me desperately needs a haircut!

    • Oh I hear you David on haircuts—I’ve not had mine cut since the end of February—maybe it was good she cut it way too short then so I just like a helmet head 🙂
      I know it’s probably bad for me to lament as so many have not had the opportunity to even see loved ones—I think it was the opportunity to have them stay for the duration and now that they’re gone–it stings.
      I also think that I had this buried notion that once school ended and it was time for them to go home, things would be somewaht normal…but that is not the case—yet thankfully living in Georgia—we are a free state so we are opening more so than other states.
      And the fact that I have to say “free state” is so surreal—-We planned a family vacation to the beach for the end of June way back in January-
      So far it looks like we will be able to go—but what that will look like is yet to be seen.
      I’m ready for all of this to be over—so is my hair!

  9. Lynda Clayton says:

    Beautiful photos and beautiful memories for you and your grandchildren! Blessings and patience!

    • Thanks Lynda— obviously a bit taxing on all adults involved but I hope fun for the kids— and now I’m seeking some stable sense of ‘normalcy’— and not this ‘new’ business they speak of!! But I see signs of hope!!! Slow and steady!!!

  10. Citizen Tom says:

    My older daughter lives in OH near her in-laws. She and the rest of her family (husband and two little ones) have 3 weeks vacation, but no place to go. Plans got cancelled due to COVID-19. So they will spend two weeks in quarantine so that they can visit the grandparents. Strange, but apparently the new norm. I think someone needs to take the new norm, chain a millstone around its neck and send it to the bottom of the sea.

  11. Dawn Marie says:

    A time such as this has been a lesson on patience for myself – in all corners of my life. And the mantra of “this too shall pass” grows weary at times; however, the gifts received have been many & fruitful so I end most days with gratitude -which it appears you do too my dear friend. Thank you for sharing your corner of the world with us and allowing us into your habitat and heart! Hugs to you for doing so. 💕

  12. SLIMJIM says:

    Adorable kids! Concerning the picture on my post: that was not the person who was killed. I have mix emotions about posting the picture. When I was younger I made the mistake of getting too detailed about the person’s death along with some other Marines and looking back we realized that probably wasn’t good for his family members who probably are searching online for things about their loved one. Maybe that’s why the mom can add any of us on social media

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