when did respect die???

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself.
The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he
cannot distinguish the truth within him,
or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others.
And having no respect he ceases to love.”

Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“It may be important to great thinkers to examine the world,
to explain and despise it.
But I think it is only important to love the world, not to despise it,
not for us to hate each other, but to be able to regard the world and ourselves
and all beings with love, admiration and respect.”

Hermann Hesse

“He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him In!”

Edwin Markham

This quote by Edwin Markham…it was one of my favorite quotes… or better yet,
it actually became a sort of life rule that I kept close to my heart when I was in high school…
way back in the mid 70’s when I first found it.

It is a quote by Edwin Markham (April 23, 1852 – March 7, 1940)
He was a poet, as well as an American poet laureate, hailing from Oregan.
He was a prolific writer with most of his work coming from the years between 1923-1931.

This quote came racing back to my thoughts yesterday after a little incident I witnessed
at my local grocery store.

Let’s think of where I live.

I live in what is considered to be a small town.
We are about an hour west of Atlanta, give or take the traffic.
Yet we are a college town.
And we are what some might consider to be a sleeper community of Atlanta.
Meaning, folks drive back and forth to the big city in order to work.

We have big businesses but we still have a cattle sale barn that operates every Monday.
It’s where the local farmers bring their animals each week to show and sell…
So yes, we have pastures, cows, goats, sheep, bulls and yet we also have
global industry, a major hospital, a Division II college, and two nationally
recognized school systems…

Our town is a good town.
A small town with rural charm along with a comfortable modern feel.

So yesterday afternoon, I ran to the grocery store, our local Publix.
As I made my way to the door, pulling my mask over my face, I saw an older woman,
in her 80’s pushing her cart out of the store.
She was sporting a Trump 2020 t-shirt along with a black Trump 2020 face mask…
smartly accenting her jean skirt and sneakers.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye an elderly gentleman approaching us pushing another
grocery cart…he was bent over with age and I surmised he was her husband.

She told me she wanted to tell me something.

As she was an older woman and I have a deep respect for older folks,
I knew I needed to pay attention to what she wanted to tell me.

I don’t care what race, creed, or religion an older person might be,
they will always have my respect.
That’s how I was raised.

I might be almost 61 myself but I will always respect those who are older than I am.

No matter who they may be or where they may come from…be they humble
beings or more well do to…our elderly population are our treasures.
They have lived through so much, be it good or bad, and they have so much to
teach each one of us.

So when one of that generation tells me they have something to tell me,
I’m all ears.

This very southern gentile woman begins to tell me that a young man…
she told me his race, but to be honest I couldn’t make out exactly what she said
given the muffled voice coming from under her mask,
I could have easily assumed she was referring to a black male, but I’m just sticking with
young male…

This young male saw her shirt and mask and told her to her face that she was a
“fucking racist.”

Suddenly I felt a sick feeling hitting my stomach like a brick.

That could have once been my grandmother.
For some punk to call my own grandmother a “fucking” anything would have
sent me reeling.
For all I know, my grandmother probably never had heard of such a word!
She was that much a southern lady…much like this woman

By this time, her hunched-over husband chimed in telling me that had he heard
this young man say that to his wife, he would have hit him but he was
not nearby as he was just trying to get a cart to help him walk.

Here was a feeble elderly man feeling that his wife has been terribly insulted
and he wasn’t there to defend her—and that tore my heart to pieces.

I apologized to this couple that such should have happened to them on this humid September
Thursday afternoon at their local grocery store in small-town USA.

I felt so hurt.
So much so that tears came to my eyes.

I could have just as easily seen an elderly black man or woman wearing a BLM shirt
at the store and I would never have ever considered saying a word.
I might have disagreed, but I would respect their choice, their right,
to wear such because that is indeed their, our, right as Americans.
I don’t have to agree, but I do have to have respect.


Because that is how I was raised.

And so that one little word, that one little issue, is, in a nutshell,
the answer to all of this idiocy taking place across this Nation of ours…
respect has died.

May she rest in peace.
And may God have mercy.

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them,
for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:12

20 comments on “when did respect die???

  1. Sue Cass says:

    There is no respect for anything anymore from this younger generation. Not for the elderly, humans in general, animals, or even for themselves. I’m 76 and like you feel, it is appalling but thankfully I have not had that kind of disrespect as yet….but I’m not wearing a Trump hat even though I’d like to and that’s sad.

  2. Tricia says:

    I too have a special place in my heart for the elderly and also take time to listen extra hard when they have something to say. Such a sad and jarring story you share, but so unsurprising in today’s climate of absurdity. No respect indeed.

    Did you see the recent video of “protestors” disrupting an older couples meal at a restaurant? The woman had her drink stolen and downed while they were being screamed at by BLMers. It was truly disturbing.

  3. Sweet post, Julie! Yep, I’m totally with you, a lack of respect and basic good manners are at the root of all our problems in society right now. While that may sound trite and simplistic, it really is true. I tear my hair out over my own children and the modern world, but I do take note of the fact that they know there is great value in good manners and respect. Something else that has been forgotten, our good manners and respect is a direct reflection of our own character, not a reflection of those around us.

    It sounds a bit funny, but even if it were needed and justified, an effin reviler completely lacks the moral authority to call out an effin racist. The condition of our heart and our own hands have to be clean or else we just become more despicable than what we are allegedly opposed to.

  4. oneta hayes says:

    A reason why many Trump supporters don’t identify themselves. Sad, indeed. What is that t-shirt I saw a picture of? I think it said “Proud to have had 14 abortions.” Disgusting as that is, there would probably not be a Trump supporter who would challenge her with foul language.

  5. hatrack4 says:

    Showing respect to your elders is not wasted, even when you think the person is 20 years older, but actually 10 years younger – it has happened, many times. Some people do not age well… And the reverse has happened when a 50 year old demanded my wife and I show undue “respect” thinking that he was older, and only because he thought he was older (and probably the “young man’s” (from your story) father as big of a jerk as he was). I did not punch him in the nose which was about the extent of the respect I could show.

    My wife had an upper and lower GI exam today, endoscopy / colonoscopy. All negative except for three benign polyps. But that put me in the waiting room with CBS on the TV. The morning show, featured off hand remarks as if everything was “common knowledge”, but they made unsubstantiated accusations, one after another. It was low key, like they were just having a conversation. Yet, everything they said was inflammatory. Then I realized that Trump has said bad things about Obama’s decisions and the Dems condemn (Dem – condemn, is that a coincidence?) anyone who does not agree with their thinking. Thus Trump, with no evidence of being a racist, is one and all who support him also. I would call all of them low-lifes, but that would just drag me down to their level. Frankly I see the media as being the greatest source of enflaming the riots. They have shown Trump no respect from the start and sown distrust for the government (which I think was the Dem’s plan all along – obvious from their campaign ads, capitalizing or orchestrating).

    As for your title… When did respect die? It is a slippery slope from respecting others (young or old – and a verb that means actions are taken) TO demanding respect without giving it TO referencing RESPECT as simply being a word in a song that is spelled a few times TO a nation that cannot spell “KATT” – did I get the spelling right? Not making fun of any person here, just the nation in general. My spelling has worsened since those red lines started appearing under words. Call me “lazy,” but do it respectfully. HeeHee.

    • Wow, what a day.
      I’m glad she is relatively free and clear.
      I use to come unglued when the kids at school would start in on being “disrespected” by this teacher or that—and I’d think you have no idea what you’re talking about…it was always about being disrespected..this coming from some 16 year old kid…who didn’t even grasp the notion of respect, let alone disrespect.

  6. […] all that in mind, please read when did respect die???. Here is how it starts, with the quotes below. Then, the author, Julie, tells a […]

  7. Rudy U Martinka says:

    Tom, Cookie

    Cookie’s and your posts focus on respect and Bible wisdom waning in our society.

    The list of Cookies examples of what the young are being taught or influenced to believe differs from what Cookie and I seem to have been taught.

    Sadly, our contemporary society, because teaching the wisdom of the Bible is waning in our Nation, we are, in my opinion, repeating the same folly of forgetting the “poor wise man analogy” 1000 years prior to Jesus Christ in my recent post series, ‘The Wise Man saved the City.’

    I often ponder a thought if God perhaps sent his Son to teach us to focus on Love because the Wisdom, he sent us was not working.

    Or because we keep forgetting that either Wisdom without Love, or Love without Wisdom doesn’t work very well.

    In my opinion, we have to somehow return to teaching our children our religious values.

    In our contemporary times without school choice or school vouchers financial help, too many families will never be taught the Wisdom and Love needed for our society to prevail very well in the future.

    And in my opinion, as our religious teachings and values continue to wane in our families, what we are experiencing now may only be the tip of the iceberg of the folly coming in the future.

    Regards and goodwill blogging.
    If Interested


  8. SLIMJIM says:

    Wow sad to hear that. In California there’s no one that wears MAGA hats, or anything like that. I think its actually dangerous for anyone to wear that; to hear of someone insulting a grandma? Man…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.