Hope found in a love that does not seek control

“He is lifted up as a passive victim, so the cross is a sign of desolation.
And he is lifted up in glory, so the cross becomes at the same time a sing of hope.
Suddenly we realize that the glory of God, the divinity of God,
bursts through in Jesus’ passion precisely when he is most victimized.”
Father Henri Nouwen
From Action to Passion
Bread and Wine
Reading for Lent and Easter

(the blackberries are blooming / Julie Cook / 2016)

Father Henri Nouwen recounts in his reflection From Action to Passion the story of a dear friend who was dying from cancer. This friend, who was in his early 50’s, had been very active his entire life. As an adult he had worked tirelessly as a social activist.
Always doing, always giving…

This once active, constantly moving, individual was now finding himself lost in his illness and the maddening and ever growing frustration of his inability to go, to do, and now simply even to move.
His body weak and ravaged by disease, he was now on the receiving end of constant care by nurses and doctors. He was beginning the downward decent into that dark place of despair…
not knowing how to cope as he was now on the receiving end of life verses the active giving and doing end.

The thought dawned on Fr Nouwen that there were many more like his friend who were suddenly finding themselves at the same crossroads of life…being faced with that haunting question…
“how can I still do?”
Be it illness, accident or age at some point or another we all will be faced with the same challenging question…

Father Nouwen realized that his friend, as well as others, had come to see their self worth based solely in their ability to “do”.
And if they were no longer able to do, then what good were they…

Father Nouwen found his answer, the answer not only for his friend but for all of us, playing out during the final days of Jesus’ life on earth.
It was found in the dark of night, found in the garden of Gethsemane, on the fateful night in which Jesus was handed over to the authorities and arrested on grounds of treason.

It is noted that in the Greek translation of the Bible that Jesus was “handed over.”
Other translations offer the word betrayed…but it is within the phrase “handed over: that we find our answer to our question…

Father Nouwen notes that Jesus’ life can be divided into two very distinct parts and or actions.
The first part of his life and ministry was one of doing..preaching, teaching, traveling, healing..
The second half, and maybe even the most important,
was when he become the recipient or the one who was now “being done to”—
He was now on the receiving end verses the doing end.

His passion in turn became a type of waiting.
Waiting for things to be done to Him…
Waiting for questioning,
Waiting for a trial
Waiting to be flogged
Waiting to be sentenced
Waiting to be executed
Waiting to die
Waiting to rise…
All done with quiet determination, patience and a willingness to wait rather than control the situation.
Whereas Jesus could have easily orchestrated things in His favor, He willingly submitted to “being handed over” and to what all that would entail, even unto death…

So now we all come to see that our life’s vocation(s) can become one of receiving and waiting verses giving and doing.
Yet at the same time we know that there is a very real and difficult relinquishing of this control.
And it is in the ultimate giving of Jesus that we see our own example of action within the waiting and the receiving…

These are hard words to hear for those of us who are active, have found our worth in doing, giving, offering, speaking, teaching, helping…
“How on earth,” we hear ourselves lamenting, “can I be of service, viable, helpful, productive, beneficial, worthy… if I am to become passive, a recipient, a receiver…?”

Yet the answer is found and must be claimed in the Passion of Christ.

To be handed over, willingly…
to relinquish,
to let go,
to let God…

“Into your hands…”
“It is finished…”

We see that it has been a Love freely given…
It is a passionate Love steeped in selflessness
It is a Love that receives as much as it gives
It is a Love that gives of itself rather than seeks control
and it is a patient Love content on waiting

“So together we began to see that in the midst of our suffering and passion,
in the midst of our waiting, we can already experience the resurrection…”
Fr Henri Nouwen

Exhale

“Prayer is exhaling the spirit of man and inhaling the spirit of God.”
Edwin Keith

(daisies at the garden center / Julie Cook / 2015)

wwwwwooohhhhhhhhhhhhh
The sound of a long awaited exhaled release of self
The sound of a 3 week crisis multiplied by 3. . .released
The sound of a soul that has lived to tell about it
The sound of a flu ridden, angst ridden, worried sick,
worse for the wear, wounded soul
The sound of the end of a day
The sound of the end of a week
The sound of the easing of a trauma
The sound of a 2.5 hour traffic filled journey home
A settling
A smoothing out
Headed upward, verses downward
A cease fire,
An uncontested truce
Worn down
Beat down
Down
You can breathe now
You can finally let go
You can rest
You can exhale

Breathe out, exhaling my Beloved
Let it go
Close your eyes
Rest
I will breathe for you
For my Spirit will sustain you
and see you to the morrow. . .
Sleep well my Beloved,
sleep well

“The Spirit of God has made me, And the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
Job 33:4

Letting God be God

“Faith and repentance mean letting God be God also in our actions and being obedient to him precisely in our deeds”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Except taken from the Berlin Papers 1932-1933

(image of a single remaining leaf on the tree we had “removed” this past week / Julie Cook / 2013)

Letting God be God is often one of the most difficult tasks we all face at some point or other in our lives. I know most personally that this is one issue which I most often face as I tend to be rather headstrong, often feeling the need to “take over” the situation or task in which I have asked for God’s very help.

I like to think this little tendency of mine is due, in large part, to the teacher in me—as the need to be the one in the room who is facilitating and leading comes rather natural. The person who directs and oversees the group. The person who is responsible for the lives entrusted to one’s care. With that responsibility comes the need to guide and care for. . .

Not surprisingly, when I take back whatever task I’ve attempted leaving in God’s hands, the results are most often a disastrous mess—I allow myself to get worked up into a terrible dither with a soaring stress level, when I could have simply “let go, in order to let God”–resting in the knowledge that He’s in charge, that “He’s got this” —-whatever the “this” may be.

Have you ever been in the midst of some situation which seems to suck the very life out of you as your time and energy is totally consumed and tied up in and with this particular issue? You are at your wits end both emotionally and physically. You feel as if you’ve done all you can do and yet things are no better than they were—when suddenly, thankfully, someone else steps up— someone with a fresh perspective who is full of energy—who is ready to give the issue a go as you find yourself reluctantly acquiescing, yielding to the new strength this person possesses which is what you lost long ago—you finally let go, sigh, and fall back. . .thankful it is no longer in your hands. . .?

It never has to get to that point.

If only we, you, I could learn to let God be God. . .

To let go, to be obedient in both our actions and in our deeds. A life long quest that seems to come easily to others than it has to me I must sadly report. But the glory of it all is that it is never too late, time has not run out, there is still time to yield, to turn, to begin the steps towards obedience.

But of course you can still hang on if you prefer, fighting the losing battle, being headstrong and defiant. If that is what you want you may certainly continue carrying the burden. . .but I would beg to ask “how’s that working for you?’ Are you being successful? How are the lives of the people around you being affected? Are you miserable with that miserableness pouring out to the lives around you? Sounds all rather toxic to me.

Learning to yield to God doesn’t mean that the trials won’t come as the obstacles to cross will still be there and the challenges will still arise—but the glory is that you, that I, are no longer alone. There is One who is greater as He sees the big picture, not your, not mine, micro image of the issue at hand but rather the entire issue from start to finish.

It can be such a relief if only you, if only I, let Him do what He does best—being Father, being God—I must constantly remind myself that God is the Creator and I am but the created. He’s got this—-I can thankfully let go. . .

Here is to walking towards obedience and towards a life of allowing, yes allowing, God, to thankfully be God. It is all a matter of our “allowing” as He will not demand and/ or take—He is indeed a gentleman, He will not take over unless we allow Him to.

Are you willing yet to allow Him to be God or do you still want to try your hand at that? I’m personally ready for a little help.