no regrets

“Out of love,
No regrets–
Though the goodness
Be wasted forever.

Out of love,
No regrets–
Though the return
Be never.”
Langston Hughes

(a new forming peach / Julie Cook / 2017)

Our society has a flippant little expression…
“leave nothing behind and have no regrets”
Meaning…
whatever you do,
go forward,
don’t look back
and for heaven’s sake, whatever you do, do not ever apologize…

It’s the “glad I did it” sort of mindset with a heavy dose of
“And I’d do it all over again if I had the chance…”
Despite the “it” having been foolhardy, selfish, ill advised or downright wrong…
As the ego boldly claims to have “no regrets”
As an air of bravado now masks any second guessing….

While on the other side of this no regret issue,
sits the one who has come to the end of a life lived…
As he now prepares to meet his maker,
he looks back while taking stock of the ups and downs of living….

He looks back determining that despite the highs and the lows,the good and the bad,
he can actually let go, as he readies to go home, with no regrets….

Is that not how we all hope it will be…
That when the time comes for us to depart this life,
we’ll be able to look back with that same sense of peaceful lack of regrets…

Yet unfortunately, we all aren’t granted that luxury of time for reflection,
that time of taking stock.

For one minute we’re here and then the next, we’re not.
No chance to spend time reflecting, pondering or sorting.

Yet for the one who has chosen to follow the Christ…
time no longer matters because…
there are no more regrets….
all having been replaced by forgiveness coupled with Grace…

But there is no point dwelling on the past excessively.
My mother used to warm us against that; she’s say
“Doting on what’s gone is wasting precious time.”
It’s stealing time really, from the present and from the future.
If you believe in the mission of Jesus Christ,
then you’re bound to try to let go of your past,
in the sense that you are entitled to his forgiveness.
To keep regretting what was is to deny God’s grace.
Dorothy Day

The gift of a peach

May14

“The nectarine, and curious peach,
Into my hands themselves do reach;
Stumbling on melons, as I pass,
Ensnared with flowers, I fall on grass.”
Andrew Marvell

Dwell not upon thy weariness,
thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire.
Arab Proverb

(my very own little peaches / Julie Cook / 2015)

I watched you today.
I knew you didn’t feel well.
You were quiet.
Not yourself.

I saw the worry on your face and heard it in your voice.
I could feel your preoccupation with the heaviness and grief.
I watched you take the last couple of pills out of the bottle
to help soothe your stomach.

Yet I knew you were still keenly aware of your surroundings.

I heard you mention how deep blue the sky was today as it was
accented by the new green growth of all the towering trees.

I watched as you ambled up and down the aisles of the garden shop,
snapping pictures of the blankets of new blooms exploding on every young plant.

I saw you plant the new little lime tree,
watching as you hoisted sack after sack of dirt in order to fill the pot.
I noticed how you forgot to put on the gloves,
growing agitated that the dirt got under your nails.

I watched your excitement when you noticed the tiny peaches sprouting out on the equally
tiny peach tree.

I’ve watched you labor with the tiny tree, ever since you brought it home two years ago.
It was a sad stick of a tree sitting in that hardware store.
You’d asked your husband if you could buy two of them hoping to eventually have your
own peach trees.

I felt your frustration when you unwrapped them and one of them was already dead.
I marveled as you planted the sole remaining little tree anyway,
offering it your care and your hope.

I watched as you watered it.
Fertilized it.
Moved it in and out as each season dictated.
You’ve defended it from the spider mites.

I’ve watched you over the years relish in the peaches you’d bring home from market.
Gently feeling each one for ripeness.
Placing your nose to each peach, breathing in deeply for that distinct scent.
I’ve watched you as a little girl bite into a ripened peach,
as the juice dribbled down your chin and the fuzzy skin tickled your tongue.

I had hoped you’d see the buds.
I wanted them to fill you with anticipation and excitement.
I’ve known things haven’t been easy and that you’ve felt lonely and overwhelmed.

I wanted you to know, through the tiny bud of a peach, that I am here. . .
That I do see you,
hear you,
feel you,
Love you. . .

“I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty.”
2 Corinthians 6:18

“For He looks to the ends of the earth
And sees everything under the heavens.
Job 28:24

Budding and Blooming

Apr10

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.
Guillaume Apollinaire

Where flowers bloom so does hope.
Lady Bird Johnson

“Let us not go hurrying about and collecting honey, bee-like buzzing here and there for a knowledge of what is not to be arrived at, but let us open our leaves like a flower, and be passive and receptive, budding patiently under the eye of Apollo, and taking hints from every noble insect that favors us with a visit.”
John Keats

(a beginning bud on a peach tree / Julie Cook / 2015)