It’s all relative

“No culture in history has ever embraced moral relativism and survived.
Our own culture, therefore, will either
(1) be the first, and disprove history’s clearest lesson,
or
(2) persist in its relativism and die,
or
(3) repent of its relativism and live.
There is no other option.”

Peter Kreeft

img_2314
(my stepmother is so proud of her pumpkin display…)

Relative or relative…
Hummmm…

They say that learning the english language is one of the hardest languages to learn…
and maybe that’s because of our penchant to use one word in multiple ways,
with each particular way having it’s own meaning and even distinct pronunciation…

Thankfully however we are not like the French what with all their le and la business…
I never could figure out why one thing had to masculine while something else had to be feminine…
why can’t it just be…neutral…as in just a word…..??

But I digress as I am too weary to rattle on about the English language,
or mes amis à travers l’étang,
or that of the Queen’s, the King’s,
or even the colonies now turned states, english….

And while I’m thinking about it, maybe we should have kept that whole colony notion,
having stayed with that crazy King George…
because that way we wouldn’t be living in the current land of sensory deprivation
with all things in life now being only Hillary or the Donald…

But then the fourth of July wouldn’t be nearly as festive and we’d be dealing
with Brexit…

sigh…

But I’m way too weary for all of that garbage today as well…

Today has just been one of those days…
you know the ones…
you wake up after an awful night of fitful sleep with ‘sleep’ being a relative term
as you only got one hour…
let alone the 7 or 8 or whatever is currently being required
for waking perky and refreshed.

I can’t remember when I last felt perky…
maybe its the inflamed nerves…

It was then a day for relatives…
as in Dad and my stepmother and the day’s current caregiver.

There are days I am strong…as I have to be strong for everybody right now…
especially Dad…
But then there are days like today when strength is a relative term…

My stepmother was in a good mood thankfully…but the caregiver was not…
And with my stepmother, each day is a mystery as to who will wake up…
Dr. Jekyll or Mr Hyde…

Upon my arrival, I was happy to see Dr. Jekyll,
who actually wanted me to go buy her a new trashcan…
the kind with the step-on latch to open the top…
And it had to be small and stainless…

After gathering the trashcan, which thankfully she loved…yet tomorrow that could change,
and gathering the groceries and their lunch…
it was time to schlepp things up from the basement all in order for her to
“decorate” for any trick or treaters that may come their way.

My dad is the sole remaining original resident of the cul-de-sac…
as all the other neighbors have sadly faded away.
The quaint neighborhood of 10 houses, that were built in the mid 1950’s, once overflowed with
the sounds of children…
Yet those children, of which I was once one, have all grown up and moved away…
leaving those once joyful sounds of play, sadly now silent.

I am happy however to report that young couples are currently moving back in
with their own band of gleeful little ones who will once again romp up and down
the relatively safe little street…claiming it, just as we had,
as their own tiny little realm of the mighty cul-de-sac.

So today, in giddy anticipation, my stepmother wanted to ready things for a few
hopeful customers for candy come Monday evening…

Yet as is often the case, dealing with those with dementia,
my stepmother was giddy and excited today,
wanting me to buy candy for Halloween….but come Monday,
which in Dad and my stepmom’s limited world, the passage of time is indeed relative,
she may completely forget, by tomorrow, what all the candy is for…

And then there was Dad…
still holding his own but gravely weak and now bleeding a great deal
as the doctors have told us the tumor would ebb and flow.
The tumor is now causing a good bit of pressure so dad feels the urgent urge
to urinate yet with little to nothing to show for the effort…
…and now there is more blood than anything else…
so the constant up and down is taking a toll.

He did however request, that when I went to buy their groceries, that I buy some ice-cream…
and I did…lots and lots of ice-cream.

By the time I was finally on my way home late afternoon,
the caregiver called me,
alarmed that dad is so weak that he almost fell getting in the bathroom…
She wanted to let me know that she was calling the hospice nurse,
who will be out tomorrow morning, sharing the latest worries.

So I will go see what she thinks…

Some days are good,
and some days are not so good…
and that, I suppose, is simply life…
Of which,
I believe,
is simply being relative…

So as I was driving home, with hot stinging tears welling up in my eyes…
wondering where my mom was when I needed her…
an old song I use to love a million years ago came flooding into
the forefront of my brain…
thankfully…
mercifully…
miraculously…
flooding…
and washing…
into my brain…

Reminding me…
swiftly,
quickly
and powerfully
that not all things in this life are merely relative…

That there is one thing and one thing only that is totally separate,
independent and irrespective of this innocuous life..

and that would be…
the Lamb of God…
the blessed lamb of God….

The song is The Lamb of God by Twila Paris
and this is a moving You Tube video clip I found reflecting her beautiful song…

21 comments on “It’s all relative

  1. Beautiful! I’m sorry for the sadness and for the unpredictability, having to take things one day at a time. That can be so disconcerting. He really is steadfast, constant, never changing, and a relative too, a royal one. May he send you lots of good songs to remind you of his presence.

    • thank you IB…and you should know, that yesterday as I stood in line at the grocery store buying their groceries feeling just sort of blah, I unloaded everything and looked up to find Judge Judy staring at me from the magazines and there was something about her and her husband and I immediately thought of you!!! And a big smile spread across my face…so yes He has a knack for the miraculous with songs that pop into our heads out of no where and a marvelous sense of humor as He sends us moments that make us smile when smiles seemed on low end of the day’s spectrum…
      here’s to Judge Judy, Twila Paris, you and Him—as I can see this cup is now running over 😉

  2. DeniseBalog says:

    Julia, thank you for pouring out, and trusting your heart with us. As I approached the bottom of your post, there the photo of Jesus with His mother from the Passion, my own heart skipped a beat. Not much is written of Joseph, thinking he died young compared to Mary standing by the Cross. I wonder if Jesus, Who walked this dust as we, also shared in the sorrow of watching, living it out with a parent in the days of sorrow. Isaiah shares, “he was acquainted with grief and sorrows”. Prayers for you my friend, and remembering the love of the Lamb, Who reassured, His mother Mary, and gave her the hand of John (in Hebrew Grace) He will also comfort and care for you and yours in His today.

    • Thank you Denise—there are days that sharing the realness of life is important as I always believe someone else out there is going through something similar and it can be a comfort knowing one is not alone—as believers we know and claim that we are not alone…but I’ll be the first to admit–there are those days that are harder than others…days that we have to hold on harder than usual—
      holding on to Grace!!!

  3. Elihu says:

    Being a caregiver, particularly for someone with dementia is emotionally draining. My heart goes out to you, dear Julie.

    May the Lord bless you as you honor your father and stepmother. May songs like the above continue to fill your heart and mind, and may God uphold you with His faithfulness. As my friend Elisabeth Elliot used to say, “you are loved with an everlasting love, and underneath are the everlasting arms.”

  4. Lynda says:

    Julie, my heart is so heavy for you as there are many emotions involved what we see our parents so frail and declining. My own parents passed away when I was 32 but I have been blessed with friends whose parents have been very kind to me. One of those dear families is dealing with a very similar situation right now and I’m so sad for I love her parents dearly and my friend is so very exhausted. You and your family are in my prayers as are so many others. Blessings.

    • Thank you Lynda—some days are better than others…and such is life…it’s just that I handle it some days better than others—and I get through those other days by the wings of your prayers…thank you!!!

  5. Well this made me cry to know that you were crying and still suffering so physically and emotionally! I’m so sorry Julie. As Lynda said my heart is heavy for you. I do so wish I were close enough to be a help to you during this time. Sweetie you have done the best you could for you Dad and when the time comes, it comes whether any of us are ready for it or not. And you and I know He will be going to a better place. You are in my prayers as tonight I’m placing you and your dad at the foot of Christ’s cross and asking that His will be done with great mercy!!!
    In Jesus’ name. Amen! Love and hugs, Natalie 🙂 <#

  6. Praying for you to feel better, and God would give you strength for each situation.

  7. SLIMJIM says:

    I just prayed for you sister that He sustain you through such a difficult time with your father and step mother’s failing health and dealing with the nurses, etc.

  8. SLIMJIM says:

    By the way I listened to the song and was ministered by it. I can see why you found comfort in it

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